People Management

Dealing with Dynamite - Explosive Behavior

Guest Author: Jackey Backman

Yes that's right I'm talking about those people in our lives that resort to losing their minds every time things get tough. We all experience it, and for the most part we all behave that way at times.

How to Deal with Explosive Behavior

When dealing with explosive behavior first always separate the person from their unfavourable actions. It tells them that they're fine and it's the way that they are acting that's the problem. Behaviors are something that human beings do, it's not who they are. Everyone has the potential for good behavior no matter the circumstance so by discussing there behavior rather than making it personal you are allowing for this to occur.

Be mindful that the main reason for explosive behavior is because of that persons need to regain control. The yelling, screaming and sometimes offensive language is all just an indication of just how out of control they are feeling at that moment. The louder they scream the more desperate they are feeling. To help them regain control of themselves, let them feel like they're in control of the situation.

Suggestions for allowing other people to feel in control

Sit tight, give them eye contact and body language that indicates to them that they have your attention and let them go on. When the appropriate time comes say something like "Yes I see how that would make you angry."
By adding "I'm surprised that you're not angrier" often will pacify the individual. It sends the message to them that you've heard what they're saying and that you are impressed at how well they are dealing with it.
If they respond positively to the second comment ask them how they would like to see this matter resolved. This type of question will get them refocused on solution instead of focusing on their problem and allows them to stay in control (or so they think).
If they do not respond positively to the second question then simply provide them with some possible favorable solutions to diffuse the situation. By getting them to make choices that lead to a solution they will feel more and more in control. This one works very well.

It is my wish that you will all find peace from what this minute has brought you. Good Luck!

Until next time.

Be well,

Jackey

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Published: January 26, 2005