People Management

Did You Say Something?

Guest Author: Jackey Backman

When they just won't listen!

Picture this: You're standing face to face with someone having a conversation. They've just shared some vital information with you, and they ask you for your input. After you've taken a moment to think, you reply quickly and concisely.

It's just as the last syllable is leaving your mouth and begins to enter the atmosphere that your LISTENER pounds all over it! I mean the last word hasn't even fully formed and they're squishing it like...like...like what you have to say just doesn't matter.

Has this ever happened to you? Oh you know it has.

Well the solution in this particular situation is a no brainer. If you're like most of us you've got a least one person in your life that just won't listen to what you have to say, or quite simply really doesn't care. The simple solution here is to "stop talking" Yeah that's what I said. Just stop talking. They aren't listening anyway.

Once we get over our need to get our two cents in, it's actually quite empowering to let someone ramble on (usually quite aimlessly), and then simply smile at them and then say something simple like "interesting" and walk away. The reactions are priceless.

Now for the times when being heard is truly important, I tell you the key is in understanding the WIIFM.

WIIFM is an acronym and it stands for: 

-What's

-In

-It

-For

-Me

Here are 4 easy steps to follow: 

1. If you want people to listen, the first step is to identify what the benefit for them is in listening to what you have to say. If the listener does not know what they're going to get out of it, they will get irritated, impatient and probably start interrupting.
    
2. Get their attention. This does not mean to throw something at them (although that is tempting at times) you've got to get them to stop what they are doing. I often will step into the person's office and ask if they have a few moments. If they say no, then I ask when a good time would be and I tell them how long I will need. Hint: 5 minutes is plenty.
   
   
3. Get them thinking. When possible refer back to something they have said in the past that will support whatever you are presenting.
   
   
4. Get them talking Ask them questions about whatever it is you have referred to.

There is a lot of flexibility in this technique. Here are a few examples: 

"Bob that research you did for the project is fantastic. Where on earth did you manage to find....? You know I was wondering, what would happen if... (insert your suggestion here)."

"Bob do you remember last week you were mentioning how there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day... Well I know what you mean...(insert your suggestion here)."

"Bob how would you like to put an end to... (insert your suggestion here)."

Remember to "Keep it simple."

Until next time my friends.

Peace,

Jackey

Published: February 15, 2005

Jackey Backman is an internationally recognized motivational speaker, writer, trainer and excellence coach. Her expertise is in leadership and powerful communication skills. Unleash the powerful communicator inside of you with Jackey's proven success tips, tactics and techniques by subscribing to her free monthly newsletter at Communicate for Results! today.

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