The only person I can control is me. It’s not my responsibility to ensure that my partner, children, siblings, co-workers, or neighbors make the right decisions.

Trying to control another person’s actions is about as effective as staring at a silkworm and thinking that I can make it turn into a butterfly by wishing hard enough. It simply doesn’t happen like that. The silkworm will only change when it’s ready, and there is nothing I can do to rush that process.

Accepting this fact allows me to stop wasting my precious energy on situations that are outside of my control. I have only a limited amount of energy, and I should use it to improve the one person I can control: myself.

Stepping back from all attempts to control other people does not mean that I no longer care about what happens them. I do care! But their decisions are theirs alone, and I must allow them their choices, as I wish to be granted mine.

Respecting others’ choices does not mean I have to be a victim when they choose poorly. The fact that I am in control of myself means that I have the freedom to remove myself from situations that are hurtful to me. I cannot change others, but I can change myself and the circumstances I am in, if and when I need to.

Caring for myself involves acknowledging that the only person who truly controls my life is me and that the only life I can truly control is my own.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Who am I trying to control?
2. What steps do I need to take to let go of my attempts to control this person?
3. In what ways have I given up control of my own life?