The closer your wedding day gets, the more things seem to ramp up towards a solid state of hysteria.  Your fiancé might be running back and forth between wedding vendors, completely ignoring you, and speaking of nothing other than her big day.  Maybe her stress is starting to wear off onto you, or maybe you’re worried about some things that you feel silly talking about.  I’ll try to address them here.

Helping Her Reduce Wedding Stress

Sometimes the job of the groom is nothing more than becoming a rock for his bride to lean on.  Women usually take a lot more interest in the details of their weddings than her man.  They often stress over every little aspect.  You might be getting some mixed signals from your fiancé.  She wants you to take an active role, but she rejects ALL of your input.  How should a guy react?

Your wedding might be the first lesson you receive in how to behave in major events.  And if you learn and accept this role early enough, you’ll take one huge step in reducing wedding stress.  If your bride-to-be asks you what you think, don’t be afraid to tell her the truth… but don’t ever expect your opinions to be the deciding factor.  Just answer her questions and then let her do what she wants.  Face it guys… it really is her day, not yours.

Also remember that one of your roles is the work horse.  Ask your fiancé for some specific jobs to take the remedial tasks off her hands.  To most women, this is really the active role they want their men to take.  As long as you’re doing this, she’ll probably accept it as taking interest, and that alone will reduce wedding stress.

Sometimes she’s just looking for affirmation.  This requires some creativity.  Telling her that, ‘yes, the invitations look okay’ won’t always cut it.  If she’s already made the choice, you can give her affirmation, even if you disagreed from the start.  Find a specific part of whatever she chooses and comment on it in a positive way.  For example — “Yeah, I like the background lace for those invitations.” or “The bridesmaid dresses go well with the theme, great color choices.”

If you’re starting to really worry about how much she’s stressing over the wedding day, and nothing seems to help, try giving her a session with a stress coach as an early wedding gift.

Reducing Your Own Wedding Stress

There are a few things that men do worry about, and often don’t mention.

• What if she doesn’t show up? That is a possibility… but not very likely.  Especially if she’s taking an active role in the plans.  If you’re worried about it, bring it up at a time when she’s relaxed and not thinking about all her other preparations.  And remember that it won’t be the end of the world.  Embarrassing — yes, life threatening — no.

• What if I faint? If you’re prone to fainting spells, talk to the priest or minister now and ask him to put a fan somewhere that will blow on you during the ceremony.  Remember not to lock your legs as you stand.  Loosen your collar enough to let the air and blood flow well.  And make sure to eat some healthy food in the week leading up to the ceremony.

• What if there’s a family fight between the two sides at the reception? It wouldn’t be the first time, and it won’t be the last.  If the two of you come from Hatfield vs McCoy backgrounds, and your fiancé insists on inviting everyone, have a talk with your side of the family about keeping the peace “this one night for my sake…I love her and there’s nothing you can do about that.  If you want to show your disapproval, just don’t show up and that’ll get the message across.”  If you see a fight brewing on the big night, skip the formalities, grab your bride’s hand and head for the door.  There’s no reason you should let a family feud ruin your wedding night.

• What if my best man gets drunk and embarrasses me? It’s his job… he’s your best man.

If the wedding stress is really starting to affect you, take a step back and ask for some wedding stress tips from your fiancé, family, or friends.  You might also consider a stress coach, who can help you overcome the hurdles by helping you with relaxation techniques and give you more wedding stress tips.

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